Tuesday, November 8, 2011

MUST READ! SPANKING IS FOR ADULTS


Pastor’s corporal punishment advice scrutinized after child deaths

AP Photo/Don Brinn
In recent years, several children have died after enduring extreme forms of corporal punishment from parents who had absorbed the controversial child-rearing advice of Tennessee pastor Michael Pearl. Now, the New York Times reports, Pearl himself is under fire.
In their self-published book, To Train Up a Child, Pearl, 66, and his wife Debi, 60, recommend the systematic use of "the rod" to teach young children to submit to authority. They offer instructions on how to use a switch for hitting children as young as six months, and describe how to use other implements, including a quarter-inch flexible plumbing line. Older children, the Pearls say, should be hit with a belt, wooden spoon or willow switch, hard enough to sting. Michael Pearl has said the methods are based on "the same principles the Amish use to train their stubborn mules."
There are 670,000 copies of the book in circulation, and it's especially popular among Christian home-schoolers such as Larry and Carri Williams of Sedro-Woolley, Wash. In September, local prosecutors charged them with homicide by abuse after their adopted daughter Hana, 11, was found naked and emaciated in the backyard, having died of hypothermia and malnutrition. She had been deprived of food for days at a time, and made to sleep in an unheated barn.
Hana, originally from Ethiopia, also had been beaten with a plastic tube, as recommended by Michael Pearl. Carri Williams had praised the book--which advises that "a little fasting is good training"--and had given a copy to a friend, local authorities  say.
The Pearls aren't being charged. But Dr. Frances Chalmers, a state pediatrician who examined Hana's death, suggested to the Times that their teachings may have played a role in Hana's death. "My fear is that this book, while perhaps well intended, could easily be misinterpreted and could lead to what I consider significant abuse," she said.
That may also have happened in the case of Lydia Schatz, who was adopted from Liberia at the age of 4 by Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz of Paradise, Calif. She died last year, age 7, after her parents had whipped her for hours, with pauses for prayer. The Schatzes are both serving long prison terms, after Kevin Schatz pleaded guilty to second-degree murder and torture, and Elizabeth Schatz pleaded to voluntary manslaughter and unlawful corporal punishment. Like the Williamses, the Schatzes owned a copy of To Train Up a Child, and the local district attorney criticized it as a dangerous influence.
There was also Sean Paddock, of Johnson County, N.C., who died from suffocation in 2006, age 4, after he'd been wrapped tightly in a blanket. His mother Lynn Paddock, who said she had come across the Pearls' website, was charged with first-degree murder. Sean's siblings testified that they were beaten each day with a plumbing tube that the Pearls recommend.
The Pearls, along with many conservative Christians, say the Bible calls for corporal punishment. "To give up the use of the rod is to give up our views of human nature, God, eternity," they write in the book.
And Michael Pearl rejects the notion that his teachings bear any responsibility for the childrens' deaths. "If you find a 12-step book in an alcoholic's house, you wouldn't blame the book," he told the Times.
But other Christians appear to disagree. Crystal Lutton, who runs a Christian blog that opposes corporal punishment, told the Times that the Pearl's methods carry a big risk. "If you don't get results, the only thing to do is to punish harder and harder," she said.
The issue of corporal punishment had already been making headlines recently. Last week, a Texas woman posted online a video from 2004 that showed her father, a judge, whipping her with a belt when she was 16.
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Friday, November 4, 2011

BACK FROM BOOTCAMP

Wazzuup?? I missed you guys! I have so much reading to catch up on now!!

Well, I promised I would write about our boot camp experience when we were through, so here it is, in short form.

Waaaayy to much to write about every detail of every day, so these are just the basics.



Just like every DD relationship is different, just like every couple have different DD rules, we think that DD boot camp structure and rules should be just as personalized.


Hubby had a week of vacation he needed to take, so instead of actually going away somewhere, we decided to stay home, work on us, and nurture TTWD.


We decided to do it for 3 days. To work on my 3 particular weaknesses.

Day 1 was devoted to submission. (actually all 3 days were devoted to submission, but the "focus" of each day was different).

Day 2 was focused on my spending.

Day 3 was focused on my potty mouth.

Each day started at 9 a.m. and ended at 6 p.m. (trust me, that's long enough)

The structure of our boot camp was 4 scheduled spankings a day, and 4 homework assignments a day, with additional spankings for broken rules through out the day.

The purpose of the spankings were for me to completely submit, completely trust, and completely obey with no questions asked,.......... and to bring me out of my comfort zone.

I don't know why........ but when I'm told to do something, I automatically turn into a 5 year old full of questions...."why?....what's gonna happen?........ where are we going??........ what are you doing??"



If I have to ask questions instead of just doing what I'm told, then I am not truly submitting. I'm not fully trusting him.

That's my way of still having some control.



The spankings were given, spread out through the day, and had different severities, which were meant to show me that no matter how bad any of them were............. they may hurt................. but I will never be hurt.

That was the trust part.

They were done in different positions and different places, to bring me out of my comfort zone........ that I actually found sort of erotic.



My 4 homework assignments were questions my hubby set out for me to answer in written form, all of which had to be done immediately following the scheduled spankings, and I had to sit on my still-sore-bottom on a hard kitchen stool while I wrote.




The questions were geared toward whatever we were focusing on that day.



Like on day 1, focus on submission, my homework questions were "Why is it important that I submit to my husband?"............... "Why do I find it so hard to submit to my husband?".......................... "What can my husband do to help me be more submissive?"............... then my last homework assignment for the day was to write in my journal about how I felt about everything that happened that day.

It was very insightful, because I can express myself better in writing than verbally, so some of my answers were really helpful to both of us.

Through out each day I had a few extra rules to follow. Those were harder than I thought.



I had to ask permission to do everything. He made every choice and decision for me. That was to focus on true submission, and also for me to see how much freedom I have on a day to day basis.



I was not his slave, because that's not how we roll, but if I forgot to ask before I just did something, that was an immediate spanking. Quick, hard and to-the-point.



During these 3 days, I could not question anything he said or asked of me, and if I stalled in doing anything he asked or showed any defiance, that was another immediate spanking.



This boot camp business is not for the faint of heart. It was physically and emotionally draining.



By the middle of day 2, I was in tears and wanted to quit because my bottom was so sore and I just wanted to go back to doing what I wanted to do.



But then, we sat and talked and loved and discovered that we were more connected, and that I was trusting him on a deeper level................. We spent every second of those 3 days together................. We drew strength from each other.



This boot camp helped him too.

 It helped him to step up, and follow through even when he didn't want to.

He had to watch me and stay on top of things constantly.

He couldn't slack....... he had to put a lot of thought into every day......... making the rules............ planning the homework assignments............. planning the scheduled spankings.







We made it through.

Together.

We're more connected.

We're stronger than before.

I have realized that the respect and submission I give him on a daily basis shouldn't be as hard as I make it.

I have realized that his job as my HOH is not an easy one. I wouldn't want his job.

And he deserves every bit of submission and respect that I give him, and then some.

All in all, it was a good experience.....but one that I don't want to do again for a loooonnggggggg time!!


Princess xoxo


Monday, October 31, 2011

ELVIS MADE ME A SPANKO



Picture it:

1979.

I was just a little girl.


I remember sitting on the floor in front of our family's 9" black and white t.v. that got only 4 channels.

I was manually turning the knob that changed the channel...that's right....no remote controls back then! How did we ever survive??

Anyway.......

I stopped on a certain channel because I saw palm trees..... and a beach....... and the ocean......

I loved the ocean even back then, although I had never been.



So I stopped changing channels and leaned back to watch.

Now if you are a true spanko and over 30, you already know the movie of which I speak.


Blue Hawaii.


I saw guys and girls dancing on the beach, pineapples and coconuts were everywhere, and everyone was having so much fun....I wished I was there too!




Then it happened........



 "Ellie" (played by Jenny Maxwell), and Elvis were on the beach alone and  she was crying & feeling sorry for herself  & having a temper tantrum right there on the beach.



Then she ran into the ocean to drown herself (yeah, t.v. wasn't any safer for a kid to watch back then than it is now).


Anyway, Elvis runs into the ocean after her and saves her.



He then promptly tossed poor Ellie over his knee and spanked her over her soaking wet dress.




I couldn't believe what I had seen!






WHAT!?!?




You mean big girls get spankings too?!?!



I all of a sudden had a little crush on Elvis and couldn't wait until I was a big girl!!!





I was infatuated, hooked, from that moment on spanking was part of me.



I thought about it..........



It excited me...............



I feared it...............



As I got older I still remembered that scene.



But no amount of drama or temper tantrums ever ended in me being spanked.



They ended in arguments.................



They ended in me being called crazy.................




They even ended in divorce.




Where have all the Elvis' gone??




Where was that man who loved me enough to save me from myself??






Where was that man who wouldn't tolerate my temper tantrums or self pity??





Where was that man that I found so in control, and sexy, and that demanded and deserved my respect???







I've got a little secret......








Shhh.







You've got to promise not to tell anyone, k??








Elvis isn't really dead........








I married him :)



Princess xoxo

P.S. This will be my last post for a while, because Hubby and I are starting DD boot camp in the morning and I'll be quite busy working on me, Hubby will be quite busy working on him, and together we will be quite busy working on us.
But I promise I will write about it as soon as I can! Wish us luck! XOXO

Thursday, October 27, 2011

RULE MAKER / RULE BREAKER



I guess all is fair in love and DD.

He makes the rules for me to follow.

I try hard to follow them........

most of the time anyway.

I've had a few people that have asked me what my rules are, so I've decided to share those with you now.


                                  SPANKABLE OFFENCES  


1.   I MUST TRUST HIM IN EVERYTHING


2.   I MUST OBEY HIM ALWAYS


3.  I MUST RESPECT HIM ALWAYS


4.   I WILL NOT UNDERMINE HIM


5.   SWEARING


6.   STICK TO MY BUDGET


7.   NEGATIVE TALK ABOUT MYSELF


8.   LYING


9.   TEMPER TANTRUMS (IN ALL SITUATIONS)


10. GOING TO BED ANGRY


11. ARGUING IN FRONT OF THE KIDS


12. WON'T COMMUNICATE


13. BLIND ANGER 


14. COOPERATE DURING PUNISHMENT


15. JOURNAL DAILY BY 10 P.M.


16. ALL HOUSEWORK DONE DAILY BY 3 P.M.


17. HUBBY'S APPROVAL ON ALL SHOPPING LISTS


18. SHOW RECEIPTS FOR SAID SHOPPING LISTS


19. NO TOYS WITHOUT HUBBY


20. HONESTY


21.  SEAT BELT


22. TRAFFIC TICKET


23. MULTIPLE WARNINGS IN ANY AREA


24. GO TO BED TOGETHER EVERY NIGHT


25. NO COMPUTER AFTER 10 P.M.


26. CONTINUAL GRUMPY / IRRITABLE MOOD


27. BEING STUBBORN


28. HAVING A SMART / SASSY MOUTH 


29. READ MY RULES EVERY MORNING


30. NO SMOKING




That's a lot of rules, huh?

I mean GOD himself only gave us 10 to follow......

But my hubby gave me 30 more.

Not because he's a tyrant or anything....

Just because he knows I struggle in some areas more than others.

Some were made to keep peace in our home.......

some were made to make me a better wife, mother, and all around person....

some were made to keep me safe....

and some were made to make my life easier and less stressful.

My rules aren't in any particular order and there is not one rule any more or less important than another.

There are no gray areas....only black and white with my hubby.

I happen to like gray.....it's a very neutral color.

I have the same consequence for every rule.

The lecture comes first.

Lots of Q and A.......

"Why do we have this rule, Princess?"...." How did you brake this rule, Princess?."...... "What should you have done to avoid being here right now, princess?".......................





Then comes the spanking.......bare bottomed, always.......







Then comes the love and reassurance......lots of hugs and kisses......"You know I love you, right?"...... "And you know I don't like punishing you, don't you?"..........."But you know I will if I have too,right?"........"You know I need you to be my good girl, so let's make sure this doesn't happen again, OK?"



God I love my life.

















~Princess xoxo

Monday, October 24, 2011

TODAY IS NO PANTY DAY. DRESS ACCORDINGLY



So, I'm coming up on three (3!) weeks with no smoking.

Yay me!

























It is getting easier every day......



I rarely even crave them anymore.



Only in severe times of stress.....and even those are becoming less frequent.



I can't really say that I notice any real changes since I stopped smoking....except that I have become super sensitive to the smell of smoke now.



I don't like it.



I love it when I shake my hair around I can smell shampoo instead of smoke.



So anyway, if you have read my "follow up to spanking away the addiction" post, you already know that I broke quite a few of my rules the second week of not smoking because my hubby wasn't around much that week to help me out.



I know I was wrong......



In the ones I purposely broke anyway.

But, to tell you the truth, I would break them 10 times over again if it kept me from smoking.


But I also knew D day would come. Or would that be DD day??


I guess that day has come, because I woke up to this text from my hubby this morning:




"Today is no panty day. Dress accordingly."



Well good morning to you too! Geez.




















I know what that means. It means he wants me to know at the start of the day, that I'm in trouble.

And that every time I notice or remember that I'm not wearing any, I will think of him.........the rules he makes.........the rules I broke............and that I'm in trouble when he gets home tonight.





Now, please bow your heads in prayer for me...................









No, seriously.... My hubby is a very fair man.

He knows how hard this has been on me.

He's very proud of me.

But I also knows he takes his duty of HOH seriously.


So tonight....princess pays the price.........




But just to be on the safe side...anybody want to start a "Pray For Princess" petition???





~Princess xoxo