Tuesday, November 8, 2011


Pastor’s corporal punishment advice scrutinized after child deaths

AP Photo/Don Brinn
In recent years, several children have died after enduring extreme forms of corporal punishment from parents who had absorbed the controversial child-rearing advice of Tennessee pastor Michael Pearl. Now, the New York Times reports, Pearl himself is under fire.
In their self-published book, To Train Up a Child, Pearl, 66, and his wife Debi, 60, recommend the systematic use of "the rod" to teach young children to submit to authority. They offer instructions on how to use a switch for hitting children as young as six months, and describe how to use other implements, including a quarter-inch flexible plumbing line. Older children, the Pearls say, should be hit with a belt, wooden spoon or willow switch, hard enough to sting. Michael Pearl has said the methods are based on "the same principles the Amish use to train their stubborn mules."
There are 670,000 copies of the book in circulation, and it's especially popular among Christian home-schoolers such as Larry and Carri Williams of Sedro-Woolley, Wash. In September, local prosecutors charged them with homicide by abuse after their adopted daughter Hana, 11, was found naked and emaciated in the backyard, having died of hypothermia and malnutrition. She had been deprived of food for days at a time, and made to sleep in an unheated barn.
Hana, originally from Ethiopia, also had been beaten with a plastic tube, as recommended by Michael Pearl. Carri Williams had praised the book--which advises that "a little fasting is good training"--and had given a copy to a friend, local authorities  say.
The Pearls aren't being charged. But Dr. Frances Chalmers, a state pediatrician who examined Hana's death, suggested to the Times that their teachings may have played a role in Hana's death. "My fear is that this book, while perhaps well intended, could easily be misinterpreted and could lead to what I consider significant abuse," she said.
That may also have happened in the case of Lydia Schatz, who was adopted from Liberia at the age of 4 by Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz of Paradise, Calif. She died last year, age 7, after her parents had whipped her for hours, with pauses for prayer. The Schatzes are both serving long prison terms, after Kevin Schatz pleaded guilty to second-degree murder and torture, and Elizabeth Schatz pleaded to voluntary manslaughter and unlawful corporal punishment. Like the Williamses, the Schatzes owned a copy of To Train Up a Child, and the local district attorney criticized it as a dangerous influence.
There was also Sean Paddock, of Johnson County, N.C., who died from suffocation in 2006, age 4, after he'd been wrapped tightly in a blanket. His mother Lynn Paddock, who said she had come across the Pearls' website, was charged with first-degree murder. Sean's siblings testified that they were beaten each day with a plumbing tube that the Pearls recommend.
The Pearls, along with many conservative Christians, say the Bible calls for corporal punishment. "To give up the use of the rod is to give up our views of human nature, God, eternity," they write in the book.
And Michael Pearl rejects the notion that his teachings bear any responsibility for the childrens' deaths. "If you find a 12-step book in an alcoholic's house, you wouldn't blame the book," he told the Times.
But other Christians appear to disagree. Crystal Lutton, who runs a Christian blog that opposes corporal punishment, told the Times that the Pearl's methods carry a big risk. "If you don't get results, the only thing to do is to punish harder and harder," she said.
The issue of corporal punishment had already been making headlines recently. Last week, a Texas woman posted online a video from 2004 that showed her father, a judge, whipping her with a belt when she was 16.
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Friday, November 4, 2011


Wazzuup?? I missed you guys! I have so much reading to catch up on now!!

Well, I promised I would write about our boot camp experience when we were through, so here it is, in short form.

Waaaayy to much to write about every detail of every day, so these are just the basics.

Just like every DD relationship is different, just like every couple have different DD rules, we think that DD boot camp structure and rules should be just as personalized.

Hubby had a week of vacation he needed to take, so instead of actually going away somewhere, we decided to stay home, work on us, and nurture TTWD.

We decided to do it for 3 days. To work on my 3 particular weaknesses.

Day 1 was devoted to submission. (actually all 3 days were devoted to submission, but the "focus" of each day was different).

Day 2 was focused on my spending.

Day 3 was focused on my potty mouth.

Each day started at 9 a.m. and ended at 6 p.m. (trust me, that's long enough)

The structure of our boot camp was 4 scheduled spankings a day, and 4 homework assignments a day, with additional spankings for broken rules through out the day.

The purpose of the spankings were for me to completely submit, completely trust, and completely obey with no questions asked,.......... and to bring me out of my comfort zone.

I don't know why........ but when I'm told to do something, I automatically turn into a 5 year old full of questions...."why?....what's gonna happen?........ where are we going??........ what are you doing??"

If I have to ask questions instead of just doing what I'm told, then I am not truly submitting. I'm not fully trusting him.

That's my way of still having some control.

The spankings were given, spread out through the day, and had different severities, which were meant to show me that no matter how bad any of them were............. they may hurt................. but I will never be hurt.

That was the trust part.

They were done in different positions and different places, to bring me out of my comfort zone........ that I actually found sort of erotic.

My 4 homework assignments were questions my hubby set out for me to answer in written form, all of which had to be done immediately following the scheduled spankings, and I had to sit on my still-sore-bottom on a hard kitchen stool while I wrote.

The questions were geared toward whatever we were focusing on that day.

Like on day 1, focus on submission, my homework questions were "Why is it important that I submit to my husband?"............... "Why do I find it so hard to submit to my husband?".......................... "What can my husband do to help me be more submissive?"............... then my last homework assignment for the day was to write in my journal about how I felt about everything that happened that day.

It was very insightful, because I can express myself better in writing than verbally, so some of my answers were really helpful to both of us.

Through out each day I had a few extra rules to follow. Those were harder than I thought.

I had to ask permission to do everything. He made every choice and decision for me. That was to focus on true submission, and also for me to see how much freedom I have on a day to day basis.

I was not his slave, because that's not how we roll, but if I forgot to ask before I just did something, that was an immediate spanking. Quick, hard and to-the-point.

During these 3 days, I could not question anything he said or asked of me, and if I stalled in doing anything he asked or showed any defiance, that was another immediate spanking.

This boot camp business is not for the faint of heart. It was physically and emotionally draining.

By the middle of day 2, I was in tears and wanted to quit because my bottom was so sore and I just wanted to go back to doing what I wanted to do.

But then, we sat and talked and loved and discovered that we were more connected, and that I was trusting him on a deeper level................. We spent every second of those 3 days together................. We drew strength from each other.

This boot camp helped him too.

 It helped him to step up, and follow through even when he didn't want to.

He had to watch me and stay on top of things constantly.

He couldn't slack....... he had to put a lot of thought into every day......... making the rules............ planning the homework assignments............. planning the scheduled spankings.

We made it through.


We're more connected.

We're stronger than before.

I have realized that the respect and submission I give him on a daily basis shouldn't be as hard as I make it.

I have realized that his job as my HOH is not an easy one. I wouldn't want his job.

And he deserves every bit of submission and respect that I give him, and then some.

All in all, it was a good experience.....but one that I don't want to do again for a loooonnggggggg time!!

Princess xoxo

Monday, October 31, 2011


Picture it:


I was just a little girl.

I remember sitting on the floor in front of our family's 9" black and white t.v. that got only 4 channels.

I was manually turning the knob that changed the channel...that's right....no remote controls back then! How did we ever survive??


I stopped on a certain channel because I saw palm trees..... and a beach....... and the ocean......

I loved the ocean even back then, although I had never been.

So I stopped changing channels and leaned back to watch.

Now if you are a true spanko and over 30, you already know the movie of which I speak.

Blue Hawaii.

I saw guys and girls dancing on the beach, pineapples and coconuts were everywhere, and everyone was having so much fun....I wished I was there too!

Then it happened........

 "Ellie" (played by Jenny Maxwell), and Elvis were on the beach alone and  she was crying & feeling sorry for herself  & having a temper tantrum right there on the beach.

Then she ran into the ocean to drown herself (yeah, t.v. wasn't any safer for a kid to watch back then than it is now).

Anyway, Elvis runs into the ocean after her and saves her.

He then promptly tossed poor Ellie over his knee and spanked her over her soaking wet dress.

I couldn't believe what I had seen!


You mean big girls get spankings too?!?!

I all of a sudden had a little crush on Elvis and couldn't wait until I was a big girl!!!

I was infatuated, hooked, from that moment on spanking was part of me.

I thought about it..........

It excited me...............

I feared it...............

As I got older I still remembered that scene.

But no amount of drama or temper tantrums ever ended in me being spanked.

They ended in arguments.................

They ended in me being called crazy.................

They even ended in divorce.

Where have all the Elvis' gone??

Where was that man who loved me enough to save me from myself??

Where was that man who wouldn't tolerate my temper tantrums or self pity??

Where was that man that I found so in control, and sexy, and that demanded and deserved my respect???

I've got a little secret......


You've got to promise not to tell anyone, k??

Elvis isn't really dead........

I married him :)

Princess xoxo

P.S. This will be my last post for a while, because Hubby and I are starting DD boot camp in the morning and I'll be quite busy working on me, Hubby will be quite busy working on him, and together we will be quite busy working on us.
But I promise I will write about it as soon as I can! Wish us luck! XOXO

Thursday, October 27, 2011


I guess all is fair in love and DD.

He makes the rules for me to follow.

I try hard to follow them........

most of the time anyway.

I've had a few people that have asked me what my rules are, so I've decided to share those with you now.

                                  SPANKABLE OFFENCES  








8.   LYING























That's a lot of rules, huh?

I mean GOD himself only gave us 10 to follow......

But my hubby gave me 30 more.

Not because he's a tyrant or anything....

Just because he knows I struggle in some areas more than others.

Some were made to keep peace in our home.......

some were made to make me a better wife, mother, and all around person....

some were made to keep me safe....

and some were made to make my life easier and less stressful.

My rules aren't in any particular order and there is not one rule any more or less important than another.

There are no gray areas....only black and white with my hubby.

I happen to like gray.....it's a very neutral color.

I have the same consequence for every rule.

The lecture comes first.

Lots of Q and A.......

"Why do we have this rule, Princess?"...." How did you brake this rule, Princess?."...... "What should you have done to avoid being here right now, princess?".......................

Then comes the spanking.......bare bottomed, always.......

Then comes the love and reassurance......lots of hugs and kisses......"You know I love you, right?"...... "And you know I don't like punishing you, don't you?"..........."But you know I will if I have too,right?"........"You know I need you to be my good girl, so let's make sure this doesn't happen again, OK?"

God I love my life.

~Princess xoxo

Monday, October 24, 2011


So, I'm coming up on three (3!) weeks with no smoking.

Yay me!

It is getting easier every day......

I rarely even crave them anymore.

Only in severe times of stress.....and even those are becoming less frequent.

I can't really say that I notice any real changes since I stopped smoking....except that I have become super sensitive to the smell of smoke now.

I don't like it.

I love it when I shake my hair around I can smell shampoo instead of smoke.

So anyway, if you have read my "follow up to spanking away the addiction" post, you already know that I broke quite a few of my rules the second week of not smoking because my hubby wasn't around much that week to help me out.

I know I was wrong......

In the ones I purposely broke anyway.

But, to tell you the truth, I would break them 10 times over again if it kept me from smoking.

But I also knew D day would come. Or would that be DD day??

I guess that day has come, because I woke up to this text from my hubby this morning:

"Today is no panty day. Dress accordingly."

Well good morning to you too! Geez.

I know what that means. It means he wants me to know at the start of the day, that I'm in trouble.

And that every time I notice or remember that I'm not wearing any, I will think of him.........the rules he makes.........the rules I broke............and that I'm in trouble when he gets home tonight.

Now, please bow your heads in prayer for me...................

No, seriously.... My hubby is a very fair man.

He knows how hard this has been on me.

He's very proud of me.

But I also knows he takes his duty of HOH seriously.

So tonight....princess pays the price.........

But just to be on the safe side...anybody want to start a "Pray For Princess" petition???

~Princess xoxo

Sunday, October 23, 2011


There have been so many storms brewing in blogger land lately that I thought that we all needed a little sign of hope.

~Princess xoxo

Saturday, October 22, 2011


~Princess xoxo


I've got to admit that I had truly meant for my last post to be my LAST post.

That was until I saw all the love and support from so many people who don't even know me.

I have been a little booty hurt because of certain bloggers.

I almost felt like I was back in Jr.high again.

I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

No matter how much you try to play nice and fit in, some people will still turn their noses up as they walk by and pretend you don't exist.

I guess I thought that blogging about DD gave us all a common denominator. We are all doing the same thing,  we just all do it a bit differently.

I am probably the most non-judgemental person you will ever meet.

Everyone has their "thing".

Live and let live.........

Do your thing, ya know?

It doesn't matter if you're
into bondage
into SM
like being spanked for sexual reasons
like being spanked for discipline
don't like being spanked but know you need it
like butt plugs (although being a nurse by trade I've got to say that a perforated colon and horrible bacterial infections are not a pretty thing)
want your ass tickled with a feather
are totally submissive and love it
try to be submissive and struggle....

It's whatever.

I accept you for who you are.

Some people I guess don't feel the same way.

To those of you that welcomed me when I was (still am I guess) knew to blogging, I want to give you a big ol' southern hug and tell you thanks from the heart.

You made it easier to share parts of me.

And I also want to say that if I have ever missed one of your comments or snubbed you, please know that it wasn't intentional.

I would never do that to anyone.

Even if I don't like what you are saying to me I will respond..............

Proof: That anonymous bitch that insulted everything about me got a whole post as a response ;)
on my post "Princess gets pissed-defending TTWD"

Well, anyway, the response I got from my last post was touching and heartwarming.

Then I got to thinking......why would I expect blogger land to be any different than the real world?

In real life, our common denominator is that we are all human beings, but that sure as hell doesn't make everyone like each other.

So with all that being said, I've decided that I'm not going anywhere.

I may be new to blogger, but I'm not new to TTWD.

 DD in one marriage will never be the same as it is in another marriage.

What works for one couple, most likely will not for another.

It's very personal.

It's trial and error.

Lots of trial and error.

And just when you think you have it all figured out.........you don't.

I have a lot to share..........but I'm not going to say that it's wisdom.

If it were wisdom, then I would have this all figured out  by now.

Writing is somewhat therapeutic for me. Sometimes I just need to write.

So anyway, if you like me, thank you, and I look forward to sharing many laughs and tears in the future,  and if ya don't........well then all I can say is...............

~Princess xoxo

Wednesday, October 19, 2011


I want to start by saying thank you to everyone who has supported and encouraged me in my endeavor to end my 24 year addiction to cigarettes.

I apologize for taking so long with this follow up.

Truth is, this has been harder on me than I thought it was going to be, in more ways than one.

Okay.....the good news is that as of 6:00 p.m. tonight, it will have been two (2!) weeks since I have had a cigarette.

That's 280 cigarettes that I would have smoked.

 That's $112.00 that I have saved.

The bad news is that the last two weeks have sucked.

I thought that once the 72 hours had passed (the time it takes to clear the nicotine from the body) that I was home free.........NOT!

I have been horribly moody, and very stressed out. Nothing else has changed, just that can't smoke. The problem is, that for 24 years, whenever I got stressed out about something, I would smoke, and it made me feel sooo much better.

Now when I get stressed out, I chew gum.

Not the same.

At all.

So the first week was hard, but I got through it with help from my hubby. And he did tell me in the beginning that just because I'm quitting smoking that all of our other rules still apply.

Like just because I can't have a cigarette doesn't mean that I can be bitchy, rude or disrespectful to anyone.

That I will still be held accountable for any rules I break on top of what I need to keep me from smoking.

Bet you're thinking I've been spanked a lot, huh?


Only the first week.

This last week has been so crazy for my husband at work, that we haven't seen much of each other.....maybe an hour each night.

So I had to do it on my own.

 He wasn't there to spank me when I felt weak, or when I wanted to give up, or when I was bitchy, or irritable, or even for encouragement.

But it wasn't his fault.

It wasn't his choice.

I have found myself breaking lots of rules this last week because of it......................

1.    I broke my budget rule. I knew what I was doing. But it made me happy to shop. It kept me busy so I wouldn't think about smoking.

I cuss like a sailor when I'm stressed.

Cuz that's how I roll.......

2.    I cussed the remote control.......... my phone.......... my ipad,..........my mustang.......... the bitch that looked at me funny while I was driving my mustang.......... Walmart................ the self checkout at Walmart............ my mailbox....... my stove when it broke my fingernail.............. my broken fingernail.......... traffic lights....... the public school system................... my bathroom mirror for making me look fat................ the toothpick that stabbed through my foot when I stepped on it............. and the pimple on the tip of my nose......I mean, who gets pimples at 38 years old??

3.   I broke my seat belt rule a few times because I felt like rebelling against something.......(yeah, I know).

4.  Negative talk about myself..........I don't know if cigarettes give you beer goggles, but this last week without them I have felt fat and ugly and old. I have picked myself apart with a fine toothed comb.

5.  I have been in a continual irritated/grumpy mood.

6.  I didn't get my hubby's approval on my shopping lists before I went shopping.

7.   I did not provide receipts for said shopping lists.

And 8.  Temper tantrums.

 Okay, I'm admitting here and now to everyone that I can get a little bit crazy.

 I think all the stress from the week had built up to the boiling point and I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown last night, but instead of running through the house screaming and breaking stuff, I decided to write everything that was going on in my head down in my journal.

 My written temper tantrum.

I'm not proud of this, and it's quite embarrassing to share this with everybody..........

Don't judge me.......

Well, I guess you can if you want to..........

but it went a little something like this:

"I am on the verge of a fucking meltdown right now. Everything sucks ass. I am overwhelmed.

 I never have enough time to do everything, then I am rushing around trying to everything at once.

 I need a fucking cigarette. I am fat. I am old. I am disgusting. I still have that fucking pimple on my nose.

My hair looks like shit. Nothing I have looks good on me. I'm tired of cooking. I'm tired of cleaning.

My foot fucking hurts. I am not happy. I am in pain. I am responsible for everything. Whatever is in my foot fucking hurts. I need a fucking cigarette.

I want to scream........... I want to yell......... I want to run............... But I can't because my fucking knee hurts and that fucking thing is still in my foot and I'm too fat.

And nobody likes me.............. and everything sucks........... and nothing is fair.............. and nobody understands what I'm going through......... and my new phone pisses me off.......... and I don't like change........... and I'm starting to feel a little better the more I yell on this paper............. I am having a written temper tantrum right now because everything sucks........ and I hate this town................ and  my husband works so hard........... and we haven't had sex in a week........... and I'm hot......... and I'm cold........ and I feel............"

I stopped writing then because my husband came home and walked in the bedroom and saw me all messy faced from crying and sat down next to me and read everything that I had just written. He kissed my forehead and said "I love you so much".

I said, "I know you do....I just don't know why.........."

He smiled at me and wiped the tears from my face and told me that I was the most awesome wife that he could ever ask for and a whole bunch of other mushy stuff that I'm going to keep just for me.

Suddenly I felt overwhelming peace and love and that all that crazy stuff that I just wrote wasn't reality.

 Things weren't as bad as they had seemed. I had made it through my meltdown without running to the store to buy cigarettes and without insulting anyone or causing any damage or scaring anyone.

I may have scarred my Journal for life with everything I wrote in there though.

One day at a time.

I'm making it.

I haven't gained weight.

It's gotta get better from here though.............I mean, surely it can't get any worse, right?

~Princess xoxo

Saturday, October 15, 2011


I know that I'm not the first one to write about this subject, but I wanted to add my story to the other success stories of spanking away an addiction.

I've been a smoker now for 24 years.

More than 1/2 of my life.

I've tried and failed to stop.

And I've tried and succeeded in stopping........

only to give in and start again.

Nicotine is a vicious bitch.

She pretended to be my friend, but ended up controlling me.

She was always there for me, when I was stressed out, or bored, or talking on the phone, or driving in my car.

She always accompanied me when I was having coffee, or after a meal, and yeah, she was even there for me after sex.

I felt like I couldn't live without her.

Everyone in my life that came and went always told me that she was no good for me, and that I deserved better.

But I guess I couldn't see it.

She was a comfort to me anytime I needed her.

She was the one constant in my life.

And the worst part?

The whole time that I was comforted by her, and depended on her, she was trying to kill me.

I think I knew that all along, but just shut my eyes to it.

I have a goal.

I want to be completely free of nicotine by my 39th birthday.

And it's getting closer and closer.

There had never been any consequences before......except that people were disappointed in me, but I guess I just got used to people being disappointed in me, and that wasn't motivation anymore.

But this time I have motivation.

My hubby is spanking away my addiction.

And it's working!

He spanks me when I feel weak, like I want to give up.

He spanks me when I start feeling sorry for myself.

He spanks me when I start getting bitchy.

He spanks me as a reminder of why I don't want to smoke anymore.

And he spanks me as he tells me how proud he is of me and cheers me on with encouragement.

So, there has been a lot of spanking going on around here lately.

As a matter of fact, I can hardly sit right now because of the spanking I got this morning.

Every day it's getting a little bit easier. And when it's not so easy, hubby is there, armed with the hairbrush and a tube of Arnica Gel to get me through.

I'm really gonna make it this time :)

But, as many times over the last 24 years as I've stopped and started again, I do believe that being a smoker is a lot like being an alcoholic.

I can never have just one cigarette again, because I love it so much that I won't be able to stop.

I'm going to need periodic "reminders" to not give in at a moment of weakness or because of a stressful event  for a long time to come.

And I feel really safe and confident right now because I know that my hubby will be there for me when I need that strength.

I'm really gonna make it this time.......



Monday, October 10, 2011


I have been going through a lot lately, and I will share that in an upcoming post.

Just not yet.

So I have been finding myself in trouble more than not here lately.

Sometimes I just get so overwhelmed with things, and I make mountains out of mole hills.

I make things worse for myself than they have to be.

Two of my four kids don't live at home anymore. They are grown and on their own.

So all that's left is my hubby, two sons, and  me.

My first, my only girl, just got married recently.

I miss her sooooo  much.

In a house overflowing with testosterone,
and weight benches,
and sweat,
and spiked hair,
and too much cologne,
and football,
and basketball,
and  Nascar
and all of them understanding all this "technology talk" that they talk together........

Sometimes I feel lost.

And alone.

And I may have felt that way this morning.

And I may have felt like they were ganging up on me.

And I may have said that out loud.........to all of them.

And then I may have dramatically stormed out of the room......

And went to my bedroom........

And did the only "girly" thing I could think of at the moment......

I lit every candle I had in the bedroom.

yeah, I know.....

I really showed them, huh?

Ooh, Drama! Quick, somebody get the popcorn!

I guess hubby didn't appreciate the drama because I hadn't even finished lighting the last candle and I heard the bedroom door shut and then he was right behind me.......

and he told me that we were not going to start the day off on a bad note,

And that they were not all ganging up on me,

And that it was a simple misunderstanding of words...(all that men are from mars, women are just crazy stuff).....

Well, he didn't REALLY say that.

That was all me again.

Anyway, he spanked me for being a brat! The nerve!

And then I was all booty hurt because he spanked me.......so he spanked me again!!                              

He told me to drop it, let it go, get over it, because he said so!!

He spanked me until I wasn't all booty hurt anymore.

But now my booty does hurt.

He left his mark(s), that's for sure.

So I'm sitting here on pillows as I'm telling you Why Monday's Suck.


Sunday, October 9, 2011


Don't you just love the smell of baby oil?

And how it makes your skin all soft and shiny?

Me too :)

So at least a couple of times a week I drown myself in it while I'm showering.

There is a reason I do it in the shower, rather than when I get out.

The reason is that IN the shower the water just beads up and rolls off of me, and I am moisturized, but if I do it when I get OUT of the shower, the oil just sits on my skin so heavily that I stay oily.

I've done this for a long time now, so it's become routine for me.

There lies the problem.....when I get so used to doing something that it becomes routine, I often overlook the  important little details.

Like the fact that I always....... ALWAYS, spray a no-scrub-bleach-cleaner in the shower when I'm done to get rid of the slippery residue that the baby oil leaves behind.

Spray and walk away.

Makes it look like I've been scrubbing the shower all day.

Let me take you back in time to about a week ago...........

HUBBY:   "Princess, did you use baby oil in the shower today?

ME:           (duh)   Yes, why?

HUBBY:    "Because I just about slipped and busted my ass in there, that's why!"

ME:         (oops, my bad!)    What?!, You know I always spray bleach cleaner in there when I'm done!


HUBBY:    "Well you didn't this time. That was very dangerous, and you know if I slipped in there it would
             be bad, right?"

ME:   .........Yes sir...........

HUBBY:    "You are not to use baby oil in the shower anymore, understood?"

ME:            *pouting*........ Yes sir.............I'm sorry..........I guess I just forgot this time.

OK, now lets spring forward to this afternoon, shall we??

I had the house all to myself.... Hubby was at work & the boys were at a friends house.

I decided to have a little "me time" before all the testosterone came home again.

So I'm taking a nice hot shower.......just relaxing..........and then I decided that it had been awhile, and as long as I spray down the shower when I'm done, he will never know, right???

Umm..... Not so much.

When I was done baby oiling myself from head to toe, I put the bottle on the ledge that runs around the top of the shower, and I had just finished rinsing off when I heard the bathroom door open.


I turned the shower off and opened the shower door to see my hubby standing there smiling at me.

I grabbed a towel and wrapped myself in it, and nervously gave him a kiss, (please don't look up, please don't look up), and said "well, how did you get so lucky to get home so early??"

He could sense my nervousness and looked at me strangely.

I just kept smiling.......... doing my thing......... drying off........hoping that my super-shiny-hiney wouldn't give me away..........hoping he would be so busy watching me walk around naked that he wouldn't look up and see that bottle of baby oil on the shower ledge.

But he did.

I watched his face as it turned from the bottle of baby oil down to me. He did not look happy.

HUBBY:      "Princess, I'm going to ask you just one time....did you use baby oil in the shower.....after I told you that you were not allowed to anymore?"

ME:       Umm...........yes sir..............but you weren't supposed to be home yet............ and I was going to make sure I sprayed the shower down....................and...........

He took me by the hand and led me very quickly over to the bed...........and somewhere between the shower and the bed I lost my towel...........so there I was.......all naked ........and shiny...........and moisturized...

Before he sat down on the bed he grabbed the wooden hairbrush out of the night stand drawer and pulled me down across his lap, and the sound of that wooden hairbrush smacking my baby-oiled-hiney was so much louder than usual and it hurt so much.

I was pleading with him telling him how much more it hurt because of all the baby oil.......and all he said was, "That's just fine with me!"

*sigh* Maybe some day I will stop being so stubborn and do what I'm told.

In the meantime, does anyone know how to get  baby oil stains out of  blue jeans??


Tuesday, October 4, 2011


This adorable pic made me LMAO.

It also got me thinking.........

If GOD intended women to submit to our husbands, why doesn't it come naturally?

I mean, he intended for us to eat to nourish the body......and that comes naturally.

He intended us to sleep to rest our minds.....and that comes naturally.

So you would think that being submissive would come naturally......because it can heal the soul of a woman.

Because it can make us feel safe, and protected, and bring out that feminine side of us that we need to feel.

It feels very natural when I submit to my husband.

But it's difficult to make myself submit to my husband.

It doesn't come naturally.

I wasn't programmed from birth to be strong and independent.

The life I've lived has forced me to be strong and independent.

 I want so badly to be submissive to my husband in every way and in every area of our life together.

It is a daily struggle to wake up being in control of everything and then automatically hand it to my husband when he walks through the door at night.

It's like a Dr.Jeckle / Mr. Hyde situation daily.

We have to be two different people every day, and then be able swap those two personalities on a moments notice.

Geez.....all that personality changing could make a girl Bipolar.....(yes, it's ok to laugh).

Life would be easier if it were an episode of  Leave it to Beaver or the Brady Bunch.......... where my husband worked bankers hours, and could just swoop in at a moments notice and handle all the stressful stuff with kids...... and schools...... and the plumber...... and the cable guy..... and the neighbors and their dogs that run loose and tear up our trash every Wednesday................

But sadly, that's not reality.

So I will continue to be tough and wear my big girl panties when he's gone, and then quickly slip them off right before he comes home..........

Hmmm........maybe that's why God gave husbands such big strong hands??


Sunday, October 2, 2011


Have you ever heard the saying -There must be common ground for a relationship to survive?-

I'm not "quoting" because I don't think those are the words EXACTLY, but you get my meaning.

There was a day and time when I would have whole-heartedly agreed with that statement.

I mean. it makes sense, right?

Well my husband and I must be the exception to that rule, because we are as different as night and day.

The only thing we have in common is that we love each other immensely........................

He's a country boy.........I'm more of a city girl.

He loves to hunt and fish................. I can't stand the thought of killing an animal.

Yes, I will admit that I've added to the road kill population....a couple of skunks (but stinky critters don't really count),  a squirrel, an armadillo (very crunchy-YUCK!), and even a bird once (I think that bird was on a suicide mission though)......but I felt really bad about all of them and I certainly wouldn't have brought any of them home to use as decorations above the fire place.

He loves country music, I love every other kind of music.

The quickest way to become depressed is listening to country music.

 True story.

Somebody is always cheatin' someone else and sad because their dog died and gettin' drunk while drivin' their pick-up truck.

He loves to camp.......I love my soft, comfy bed and knowing I won't wake up with a snake staring at me.

He loves the cold and snowy mountains.......I love blue waters and sandy beaches.

He loves television shows that challenge his mind and make him think... (he's very smart!)

I love shows that will relax my mind and make me laugh.....I have teenagers.....I don't need a television show to prove to me that I'm not smarter than a fifth grader.

I'm a neat freak and a little OCD with my cleaning.......

He appreciates the fact that I'm a neat freak and a little OCD with my cleaning.

He's boots and jeans.....I'm high heels and mini skirts.

I'm a talker.......he's a listener....except when I'm in trouble....then we switch places.

I could go on and on, but I won't.

You get the picture......opposites....in every sense of the word.

But it works for us.....we balance each other out.

I am weak where he is strong, and vise versa.

And that makes sense to me.

I mean, 2 positives or 2 negatives don't equal anything...unless you're talking algebra.....and I don't speak that language.

We meet in the middle and respect each other and support each other. If we were both alike...lord help us all!

Just because we're married doesn't mean we have to act alike and think alike.......and God forbid....those couples that even dress alike. (you know who you are!)

I used to feel like it was a bad thing that we didn't have anything in common, but I'm okay with that now.

Because it doesn't really matter what the books say, or what "marriage experts" say, or even what the world says.

I am who I am, and he is who he is.......

And together we are amazing.


Friday, September 30, 2011



I'm back.

I know.....you didn't know I was going anywhere.

Neither did I.

That's why I haven't posted in a while.

I didn't just get back from a cruise....or vacation....or even the grocery store.

I just got back from a very dark, lonely, scary place that I don't like to be.

I just got back from the other side of me.

I have a secret................

I'm kind of Bipolar.

Okay........not kind of.

I am Bipolar.

Don't judge me.

Well, I guess you can if you want to.

I'm not one of those people you see standing on a street corner talking to myself.

We're not all crazy.

Some of us are just really MOODY bitches.

I try to find humor in everything, because life is just too serious.

That's why in all of my other posts, I've put funny or cute little pictures to lighten the mood, or even make you smile.

But you won't find any of those pictures in this post.

Because it's not funny.

This is part of my life.

 Part of who I am.

This is actually kind of hard for me....but just in case there is someone out there......who knows what I'm talking about......and might feel kind of alone......and needs to know that you're not..........

You are the reason that I'm sharing.......the other side of me.

I've felt safe for a long time now.

I'm thinking it's been around 4 years now that I have felt normal and that I have convinced myself that I'm just like everyone else.
And that was after about 2 years of being an experimental guinea pig and going through a nightmare-ish hell until we found the right combination of medicine to balance me out.

My doctor told me that I will have "break-thoroughs" for the rest of my life. You know, times that either depression or manic phases will come back, even though I'm medicated.

Lack of sleep, stress, and hormonal changes are the biggest triggers for break through.

But after such a long time without any problems, I didn't see this one coming.

And neither did my husband.

If you have been reading my blog, you know that the last entry was about me emotionally detatching myself from my husband and not knowing why I was doing it.

And that I got all emotionally out of control because he wasn't reading my mind and trying to "fix" this problem that he wasn't even aware we were having.

And that ended with me being punished late that night for breaking like 10 rules.

Well, it was so late, and I was so tired that night, that I didn't get that time after my hubby spanked me to "reconnect". Which I really needed. Especially since I felt so emotionally distant from him before he spanked me.

I slept horribly that night, and that should have been my first clue. I mean, what makes for a better nights sleep than a good old fashioned spanking, right?

Not this time.

The next 3 days were a downward spiral for me. Not ever feeling reconnected to my husband, not sleeping at night. My emotions felt locked up. Like I couldn't change them. No matter how much we talked or how much I tried. I just couldn't shake it. I blamed my continually spiraling out of control mood on lack of sleep and PMS. And I blamed my poor hubby for not being able to "fix us" when it wasn't an "us" thing, It was just a "me" thing.

We even tried a good girl spanking on Tuesday night. A good girl spanking can fix anything and always helps us reconnect.

Not this time.

By Wednesday I was in such a bad place mentally that I called him at work and told him that "this" (DD) wasn't working anymore. That it wasn't making us better anymore. That it wasn't "fixing" things anymore.

And then I hung up on him.

Then my brain became foggy and couldn't think straight anymore.
 Everything around me seemed dark and distant and hopeless.
 And I was so tired.
 And it scared me.
 And then, suddenly, I remembered feeling that way before.
 A long time ago.
 And then I knew what was happening.

A medicine tweak and finally some sleep brought me back to reality.

The next day I woke up feeling brand new. I felt amazing. I felt that connection with my husband that I thought was gone forever. I smiled a lot that day and laughed for the first time in 4 days, and my hubby said "It's so good to hear you laugh again Princess."

And that made me smile again.

I caught it before it went too far, but I'm angry that it went as far as it did before I realized what was happening. I could have ruined everything.

 Feeling safe is a wonderful thing, until it's taken away.

I don't feel safe anymore.
I can't.
My medicine isn't a cure.
It's a temporary fix until next time.

But for now, I'm back.
And I'm glad to be back.
I'm happy.
I'm in Love.
I'm smiling.
I'm laughing.

I'm Princess again..........but sometimes it sure is tough.


Monday, September 26, 2011

I HATE WOOD!.......About last night.........

What the heck is wrong with me?

Can anybody tell me??

I confuse myself most times, so I can't even imagine how much I confuse my poor husband.

I was in a really good place yesterday, physically, mentally, emotionally. So I don't know why I messed it up.

But I usually do.

It had been a long time since I have gotten a REAL punishment spanking........until last night.

I spent the afternoon with my boys making home made enchiladas.

It was getting kinda late and I was getting kinda tired, but was waiting for my hubby to get home from work.

He was in a good mood, told me how great the enchiladas were, everything was great...

Except the fact that I felt emotionally detatched from him. I made myself emotionally distant from him. I can do this by not making eye contact with him. He knows this. When he senses I'm doing it, he usually puts his finger under my chin and MAKES me look at him. But he didn't last night.

He didn't do anything wrong.

He didn't say anything wrong.

It was all me. But why?

He must have sensed it too, because he asked me if I was ok.
I, of course, told him I was fine. I mean, what else could I say? I didn't know why I was doing it.

So we went to bed and I was cuddled up on his chest, with my face no where near his.

Then out of nowhere I got mad.

Now get this....I got mad at him for not caring that I was keeping an emotional distance from him by not making eye contact!!

I know, right?!

So without saying anything I moved back to my side of the bed. He just looked at me for awhile. I know he was confused.

HIM:  "Do we need to talk about this?"

ME:  About what? (I Knew)

HIM:  "About why you just moved away from me like that."

ME: Well, if you're not going to care about this distance between us, why should I!    O.o

(YUP.............I know)

HIM:  "I told you I felt something was wrong, but you kept saying we're fine. and now you're being disrespectful."

Now, I'm going to save you and myself the misery and embarrassment of my next few sentences.

Bottom line: I dropped the "F BOMB", I tend to do that when I'm really mad....and that's one of our rules.

HIM: I'm going to go in the living room, and in 15 minutes, I'll be back!"

ME: What are you? The terminator? "I'll be back!"...........No, I'm not THAT stupid, I didn't SAY that out loud, I just thought it.

So I was still upset, and convinced that I was right, but not mad anymore. So I finished watching Everybody Loves Raymond, and was very tired. I KNOW 15 minutes had come and gone, so I turned off the T.V. and my lamp and got all comfy.

A few seconds later he came in and turned the light on.

HIM:  "I'm not done. Get up."

ME: You obviously can't tell time, It's been way longer than 15 minutes, It's 11 o'clock, I've got to get up early to take the boys to school, I'm going to bed!
(ok, so not a wise thing to do, but I actually did say that out loud)

HIM:  "I'm tired too, I've got to be up by 5 a.m., now GET UP!"

ME:    You've got to be kidding me? I can't believe you are doing this!

HIM:   "Now get me the hairbrush AND the wooden spoon."

I just sit there staring at the floor, contemplating my fate. Wondering what would happen if I told him no,...... Wondering what would happen if I told him to get it himself,.... He knows how much I HATE that wooden spoon! It's not even REALLY a spoon. It's really thick and heavy and instead of being round it's more square. I'm pretty sure it could be considered a deadly weapon in some states.

HIM: "I don't even know how many of our rules you have broken tonight Princess!"

Hmm. lets see.
1. obediance
2. respect
4.temper tantrum
5.going to bed angry
6.won't communicate
7. multiple warnings
8.continual irritated/grumpy mood
9.being stubborn
10.having a smart/sassy mouth

Wow. 10. That's a record for me. I figured I better not push it any further.

So I got him the stupid hairbrush.
And I got him the stupid wooden deadly weapon spoon
And I got into position.
And he spanked me forever.
And today I have more marks on my right butt cheek than my left one.
And that really bothers me cuz I'm a little OCD.

But I'm not gonna tell him that!



Saturday, September 24, 2011


First off let me start off by saying that I CAN NOT STAND IT when people HIDE behind "ANONYMOUS".

Now, don't get me wrong, I do respect every ones right to their own opinion.......

 HOW-EV-AH...... If you feel the need to give me YOUR opinion...........Get ready, cuz I'm about to give ya mine.

So the fact that you couldn't tell me who you are before you decided to insult everything about me earns you no respect.

It does however let me know that you are a coward. 

A judgemental coward.

Yes, I do submit to my husband.

Yes, my husband does spank my bare bottom when he needs to.

I know, I know, you're clutching your pearls and feeling faint right about now, huh?

Well, suck it up buttercup, I'm not done.

You say that I am "weak" because I submit to my husband.

My response to that? It takes more strength than you will ever know.

You say that I am being "forced" to live this life?

My response to that? I choose to submit to my husband. There is no force.

You say that I'm "brainwashed" because I live the life that I do.

My response to that?  It was MY idea to live this life. Not my husbands. So I guess if ya want to feel sorry for someone, you should feel sorry for him. I am the creator of this Diabolical Plan to control myself..........

You say that I am "mindless" to give control to my husband.

My response to that? I do have a mind of my own. And I'm giving you a piece of it right now.

You say that My husband could never "respect" me because I'm showing "weakness".

My response to that? My husband has more respect for me now than he ever has. Because I show him respect. It's a two way street.

My husbands response to that? "What a BITCH".

You say that my lifestyle "disgusts" you.

My response to that? If anything about me, my life, or my blog bothers you, quit stalking my blog. K? Thanks.

You say you're "happily married"?

My response to that? I'd like to hear that from your husband when you and your flying monkeys aren't hovering over him on your broom.

You say that it's "acting childish" that my husband spanks me?

My response? When my husband spanks me it makes me more "child-like" and he finds that adorable.

I feel sorry for YOU too.

That you are such a hard ass that you are afraid to be vulnerable.

That you will never feel the intense connection and closeness that living this life brings.

That you are so judgemental, that you have nothing better to do with your time than to try to tell me, and probably others too, how to live our lives.................

So we can be perfect like you.(ROLLING MY EYES)

I also feel sorry for your husband.

It must be really hard to live with someone who is so perfect.

And I'm sure he feels emasculated having to wonder every night before he goes to bed if his penis is still bigger than yours.

Yup. I went THERE.                                          


Friday, September 23, 2011


I gave you my heart a long time ago,

I gave you my mind, my body, my soul.

I gave them to you, so we could be one,

Two lives meshed together, is beauty unsung.

I give you my eyes, they are only for you,

to lose yourself in the puddles of blue.

To search, to look, to try and find,

That ever elusive window to my mind.

I give you my lips, to softly kiss,

forever getting lost in that sweet, tender bliss.

Each morning, each night, and all through the day,

I'll be loving you always, come what may.

I give you my ears, to hear when you call,

not just when you need me, but anytime at all.

My ears will hear the tone of your voice,

 I'll know I'm in trouble, and that there's no other choice.


I give up my ego, and my excentric ways,

to you, my husband, I want to obey.

I give you freely, my stubborn side,

And while I'm at it, I give you my pride.

I give to you, my repect and my trust,

To live this life, It's an absolute must.

Since I gave you my trust, you have more than you need,

So I know in my heart, you will take care of me.

 I've given you everything, Yet I know I will live.

 And that is my proof , that I will try to submit.

All of this giving has made me weak.......

Now how will I stand on my own two feet?

What have I done?........ Have I made a mistake?

I guess that's a chance that I'm willing to take.

I gave you every part of me, so how will I survive?

I will live for you my husband, as long as you're by my side.

Since I've given my all.... I have nothing left,

but I want you to know, I have NO REGRETS.

 My husband, it's you, that I simply adore,

and I want you to know, that I need nothing more.

I trust you with my very life,

and forever I will be..... your devoted wife.

But if I should fail, please understand,

 It's never done intentionally, and I'm doing the best I can.

  You know I'll never be perfect,

 I can't just bury my head in the sand..........

But I can trust that you will lead me back,

 with your strong and loving hand.