I know that I'm not the first one to write about this subject, but I wanted to add my story to the other success stories of spanking away an addiction.
I've been a smoker now for 24 years.
More than 1/2 of my life.
I've tried and failed to stop.
And I've tried and succeeded in stopping........
only to give in and start again.
Nicotine is a vicious bitch.
She pretended to be my friend, but ended up controlling me.
She was always there for me, when I was stressed out, or bored, or talking on the phone, or driving in my car.
She always accompanied me when I was having coffee, or after a meal, and yeah, she was even there for me after sex.
I felt like I couldn't live without her.
Everyone in my life that came and went always told me that she was no good for me, and that I deserved better.
But I guess I couldn't see it.
She was a comfort to me anytime I needed her.
She was the one constant in my life.
And the worst part?
The whole time that I was comforted by her, and depended on her, she was trying to kill me.
I think I knew that all along, but just shut my eyes to it.
I have a goal.
I want to be completely free of nicotine by my 39th birthday.
And it's getting closer and closer.
There had never been any consequences before......except that people were disappointed in me, but I guess I just got used to people being disappointed in me, and that wasn't motivation anymore.
But this time I have motivation.
My hubby is spanking away my addiction.
And it's working!
He spanks me when I feel weak, like I want to give up.
He spanks me when I start feeling sorry for myself.
He spanks me when I start getting bitchy.
He spanks me as a reminder of why I don't want to smoke anymore.
And he spanks me as he tells me how proud he is of me and cheers me on with encouragement.
So, there has been a lot of spanking going on around here lately.
As a matter of fact, I can hardly sit right now because of the spanking I got this morning.
Every day it's getting a little bit easier. And when it's not so easy, hubby is there, armed with the hairbrush and a tube of Arnica Gel to get me through.
I'm really gonna make it this time :)
But, as many times over the last 24 years as I've stopped and started again, I do believe that being a smoker is a lot like being an alcoholic.
I can never have just one cigarette again, because I love it so much that I won't be able to stop.
I'm going to need periodic "reminders" to not give in at a moment of weakness or because of a stressful event for a long time to come.
And I feel really safe and confident right now because I know that my hubby will be there for me when I need that strength.
I'm really gonna make it this time.......