Tuesday, November 8, 2011

MUST READ! SPANKING IS FOR ADULTS


Pastor’s corporal punishment advice scrutinized after child deaths

AP Photo/Don Brinn
In recent years, several children have died after enduring extreme forms of corporal punishment from parents who had absorbed the controversial child-rearing advice of Tennessee pastor Michael Pearl. Now, the New York Times reports, Pearl himself is under fire.
In their self-published book, To Train Up a Child, Pearl, 66, and his wife Debi, 60, recommend the systematic use of "the rod" to teach young children to submit to authority. They offer instructions on how to use a switch for hitting children as young as six months, and describe how to use other implements, including a quarter-inch flexible plumbing line. Older children, the Pearls say, should be hit with a belt, wooden spoon or willow switch, hard enough to sting. Michael Pearl has said the methods are based on "the same principles the Amish use to train their stubborn mules."
There are 670,000 copies of the book in circulation, and it's especially popular among Christian home-schoolers such as Larry and Carri Williams of Sedro-Woolley, Wash. In September, local prosecutors charged them with homicide by abuse after their adopted daughter Hana, 11, was found naked and emaciated in the backyard, having died of hypothermia and malnutrition. She had been deprived of food for days at a time, and made to sleep in an unheated barn.
Hana, originally from Ethiopia, also had been beaten with a plastic tube, as recommended by Michael Pearl. Carri Williams had praised the book--which advises that "a little fasting is good training"--and had given a copy to a friend, local authorities  say.
The Pearls aren't being charged. But Dr. Frances Chalmers, a state pediatrician who examined Hana's death, suggested to the Times that their teachings may have played a role in Hana's death. "My fear is that this book, while perhaps well intended, could easily be misinterpreted and could lead to what I consider significant abuse," she said.
That may also have happened in the case of Lydia Schatz, who was adopted from Liberia at the age of 4 by Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz of Paradise, Calif. She died last year, age 7, after her parents had whipped her for hours, with pauses for prayer. The Schatzes are both serving long prison terms, after Kevin Schatz pleaded guilty to second-degree murder and torture, and Elizabeth Schatz pleaded to voluntary manslaughter and unlawful corporal punishment. Like the Williamses, the Schatzes owned a copy of To Train Up a Child, and the local district attorney criticized it as a dangerous influence.
There was also Sean Paddock, of Johnson County, N.C., who died from suffocation in 2006, age 4, after he'd been wrapped tightly in a blanket. His mother Lynn Paddock, who said she had come across the Pearls' website, was charged with first-degree murder. Sean's siblings testified that they were beaten each day with a plumbing tube that the Pearls recommend.
The Pearls, along with many conservative Christians, say the Bible calls for corporal punishment. "To give up the use of the rod is to give up our views of human nature, God, eternity," they write in the book.
And Michael Pearl rejects the notion that his teachings bear any responsibility for the childrens' deaths. "If you find a 12-step book in an alcoholic's house, you wouldn't blame the book," he told the Times.
But other Christians appear to disagree. Crystal Lutton, who runs a Christian blog that opposes corporal punishment, told the Times that the Pearl's methods carry a big risk. "If you don't get results, the only thing to do is to punish harder and harder," she said.
The issue of corporal punishment had already been making headlines recently. Last week, a Texas woman posted online a video from 2004 that showed her father, a judge, whipping her with a belt when she was 16.
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Friday, November 4, 2011

BACK FROM BOOTCAMP

Wazzuup?? I missed you guys! I have so much reading to catch up on now!!

Well, I promised I would write about our boot camp experience when we were through, so here it is, in short form.

Waaaayy to much to write about every detail of every day, so these are just the basics.



Just like every DD relationship is different, just like every couple have different DD rules, we think that DD boot camp structure and rules should be just as personalized.


Hubby had a week of vacation he needed to take, so instead of actually going away somewhere, we decided to stay home, work on us, and nurture TTWD.


We decided to do it for 3 days. To work on my 3 particular weaknesses.

Day 1 was devoted to submission. (actually all 3 days were devoted to submission, but the "focus" of each day was different).

Day 2 was focused on my spending.

Day 3 was focused on my potty mouth.

Each day started at 9 a.m. and ended at 6 p.m. (trust me, that's long enough)

The structure of our boot camp was 4 scheduled spankings a day, and 4 homework assignments a day, with additional spankings for broken rules through out the day.

The purpose of the spankings were for me to completely submit, completely trust, and completely obey with no questions asked,.......... and to bring me out of my comfort zone.

I don't know why........ but when I'm told to do something, I automatically turn into a 5 year old full of questions...."why?....what's gonna happen?........ where are we going??........ what are you doing??"



If I have to ask questions instead of just doing what I'm told, then I am not truly submitting. I'm not fully trusting him.

That's my way of still having some control.



The spankings were given, spread out through the day, and had different severities, which were meant to show me that no matter how bad any of them were............. they may hurt................. but I will never be hurt.

That was the trust part.

They were done in different positions and different places, to bring me out of my comfort zone........ that I actually found sort of erotic.



My 4 homework assignments were questions my hubby set out for me to answer in written form, all of which had to be done immediately following the scheduled spankings, and I had to sit on my still-sore-bottom on a hard kitchen stool while I wrote.




The questions were geared toward whatever we were focusing on that day.



Like on day 1, focus on submission, my homework questions were "Why is it important that I submit to my husband?"............... "Why do I find it so hard to submit to my husband?".......................... "What can my husband do to help me be more submissive?"............... then my last homework assignment for the day was to write in my journal about how I felt about everything that happened that day.

It was very insightful, because I can express myself better in writing than verbally, so some of my answers were really helpful to both of us.

Through out each day I had a few extra rules to follow. Those were harder than I thought.



I had to ask permission to do everything. He made every choice and decision for me. That was to focus on true submission, and also for me to see how much freedom I have on a day to day basis.



I was not his slave, because that's not how we roll, but if I forgot to ask before I just did something, that was an immediate spanking. Quick, hard and to-the-point.



During these 3 days, I could not question anything he said or asked of me, and if I stalled in doing anything he asked or showed any defiance, that was another immediate spanking.



This boot camp business is not for the faint of heart. It was physically and emotionally draining.



By the middle of day 2, I was in tears and wanted to quit because my bottom was so sore and I just wanted to go back to doing what I wanted to do.



But then, we sat and talked and loved and discovered that we were more connected, and that I was trusting him on a deeper level................. We spent every second of those 3 days together................. We drew strength from each other.



This boot camp helped him too.

 It helped him to step up, and follow through even when he didn't want to.

He had to watch me and stay on top of things constantly.

He couldn't slack....... he had to put a lot of thought into every day......... making the rules............ planning the homework assignments............. planning the scheduled spankings.







We made it through.

Together.

We're more connected.

We're stronger than before.

I have realized that the respect and submission I give him on a daily basis shouldn't be as hard as I make it.

I have realized that his job as my HOH is not an easy one. I wouldn't want his job.

And he deserves every bit of submission and respect that I give him, and then some.

All in all, it was a good experience.....but one that I don't want to do again for a loooonnggggggg time!!


Princess xoxo