NEW RULE

I have an addiction.




Actually, more than one, but I'll save those for another day.




Not to drugs. Not to alcohol. Not to gambling.





Hi. My name is Princess, and I'm a shopaholic.





True story.


Now in the past, if I didn't have anything else to do, I would just go running around from store to store just to "look".

But........that's not what really happened.

My "just looking" trips would end with me bringing home lots of stuff that I didn't NEED. I just WANTED them.

It would be nothing for me to run into the store, with only 3 things on my list that should have been no more than $30, and 2 hours later coming out of said store with a $250 receipt in my hand.

If I wanted it, I bought it. And my hubby was my ENABLER!!


He would say "I want you to have everything your little heart desires", and "I'm so proud that I'm able to give you all these things".


Now you know where the name PRINCESS comes from.


We live in a pretty small town, and I'm not a social butterfly by any means,Yet anywhere I go, all the sales people know me by name.


And they all know that I'm a princess too.




Now, I am not proud of this....... but....... the way I was treated in these stores was almost as addicting as the shopping.





You know that part in PRETTY WOMAN, when Julia Roberts came into the store on Rodeo drive, dressed to perfection, and the same two women who wouldn't give her the time of day earlier were tripping all over themselves to help her now??






That was how I felt. And it was SOOO intoxicating! I know, I know......................

But..........in my defense........I have also walked a mile in her thigh-high-hooker-boots when she was still a prostitute.




No, I have never been a prostitute. You know what I mean. When she was treated like she was nothing because she had nothing.




Now at the time I was doing all of this shopping, I was on a high. A temporary high.

All the things that I bought, that I just "had to have", brought me very little happiness when I got home with them.

I would be hanging my new handbag with my many others and think, why did I buy another handbag?

 I sure didn't NEED it.


I just WANTED it.

I would be hanging  my new clothes in my already-over-stuffed closet, and thinking to myself...I'll probably never even wear this,.....I don't know why I even bought it.



Do you see what was happening? I was feeling guilty.


 I didn't realize that was what I was feeling until recently.

It just dawned on me one day. The unhappy feeling I would get after I brought all that stuff home was guilt.

I felt guilty that I was spending so much money on things I didn't need, and I didn't want to feel that way anymore.

So, how do you stop the guilt? Well that's an easy one. Stop doing the things that make you feel guilty.... DUH, right?





I did try.





Honest.




 It's just not that simple.





 I've been doing this same thing for YEARS, and it is something that I have become known for, it kinda even felt like it was part of my identity.


  So I knew that I needed help.

I asked my hubby to give me a personal monthly budget that I had to stick to. Wow, now that I see it in writing, it sounds crazy. Most normal people would never ask to be put on a budget if they didn't have to.





But I guess I'm not normal.








So hubby did.





 I now have a personal budget that I am held accountable for.





But that's not all.

There is this one store in particular that I can just loose myself in for hours and buy all kinds of things that we don't need. So now, I have to make a list of things that we need from this store, prepared the night before I plan on going and hubby has to approve the list. I am then required to have the original receipt, along with the pre-aproved list together for him to look at when he gets home.


 This has not been easy on me.



 I still have that tendancy to think, oh, thats cute, and want so badly to throw it in with the rest of the stuff  and hope he won't notice that one extra thing on the receipt.






 But I don't.



It's amazing how, when I know I will be held accountable for something, it really makes me think on a whole other level.




 So I've done soooo good at this one store........YAY ME!    







BUT..............





The first month I was on this budget, I failed.








 EPIC fail.


 I was given a credit card with X amount of dollars on it to last me the month. That was just for me to do anything I wanted with.

I had used all of it before the month was half over. It really made me see how much I spent and how fast I spent it.




But then this one pair of shoes came out at one of my favorite online shoe sites.......they were all silvery and sparkly and I just HAD to have them.

So, guess what happened?










Yup. I bought them.







Just not with my money.




I knew my budget was already gone, but surely he wouldn't notice one extra little thing on the bank statement?



Well.................I didn't even get that far.







I don't always think things through.







 See, I have this thing I do, every time I get a new pair of shoes, I take pictures of them and put them in an album on FaceBook. That way me and all my shoe obsessed FB friends can see each others shoes and know where we got them, and how they fit, etc. etc.




 After I had those silvery sparkly awesome shoes blended in with the others in my closet for about a week, I realized they were not in my FB album.









So I put them in my FB album.

















 Where my hubby saw them.

















Cuz were friends.









So the whole time my hubby was spanking me, I kept picturing those dang shoes that earned me that trip over his knee, and wondering if they were really worth it.................




That answer I think I'll keep to myself for now.

~PRINCESS XOXO